The FIA (or Fédération Internationale de l'Automobile to give it its full, inexplicably french, name) is an ominous association formed to represent motorists and motoring organisations. Its headquarters are at 8 Place de la Concorde, Paris (ring top bell), coincidentally just up the rue from one of the city's best bordellos.

The federation acts as the governing body for a number of motorsport series and championships, mostly in a venal or, if we're feeling charitable, incompetent manner. It should not be confused with the Fédération Internationale de l'Alcosport, which governs Drink-A-Long-A-Grand-Prix almost as badly.

Comprising 222 member organisations, the FIA can also boast a Senate, a Court of Appeal and a General Assembly and it wouldn't take a stretch of the imagination to see its activities as part of a sinister plan to get itself recognised as a sovereign state in its own right. It's not a million miles from how Hitler started, that's all we're saying.

Its decisions have at times left the FIA open to accusations of favouritism and manipulation and its credibility wasn't helped any by revelations that its married president, Max Mosley, was partial to sado-masochistic orgies involving more tarts than you can fit on one hand. Mosley, seeing no incompatibility between his behaviour and his position, failed to tender the resignation that many were keenly anticipating.

They claim to do a lot of work on road safety but we've never knowingly seen any of their campaigns.

Much like celebrities who get hitched to entirely inappropriate partners, the team formerly known as Toleman has the kind of history that should make any prospective bedfellow run a mile. Lotus F1 is merely the latest in a line of rebrands that has seen Toleman beget Benetton, Benetton beget Renault and now Renault beget Lotus.

Much like many of those those same celebrities, the marriage probably won't last very long, which would be A Good Thing because this name change means that there have now been three distinct Formula One teams called Lotus: the original and best Team Lotus, Tony Fernandes's short-live Lotus Racing and now Lotus F1.

In its favour, the team has brought back to the sport the legendary black and gold livery made famous by the original Team Lotus when it was shamelessly accepting sponsorship from tobacco pushers John Player. Its origin may not be anything to shout - or, perhaps, to wheeze asthmatically - about but the colours undeniably look good on a racing car and it does at least make a refreshing change from "mainly white, with some sponsor logos splashed randomly about".