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| F1: F1 Records Update: Austin |
by Mathias Olaf Uncertain
21st Nov 2012 |
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 " | Gentlemen, we can rebuild him.
We have the technology.
Better than he was before.
Better...stronger...faster. | " | | | | | Tavo Hellmund |
Not much to report this week, except, of course, that a full deck of new Trackmeister™ records were set at Austin, but that should come as no surprise to anyone, other than perhaps Bostin' Rob Austin who had honorarily held all records up to now.
Ho hum.
Looking ahead, then, this weekend's championship-deciding Brazilian Grand Prix holds the exciting prospect that Michael YouslackerSCHUMACHER, MICHAEL
 Michael expresses his remorse at having dangerously forced a rival off the track. Again. When he wasn't driving people off the road, ramming other cars, parking in the middle of the track or trying to punch David Coulthard, Michael Schumacher displayed a dazzling talent for finding new ways to disadvatage his team-mate. We're being slightly churlish, of course, but Schumacher's reputation as a driver will forever be coloured by the unsporting manner in which he raced. His first break in F1 came with Jordan at Spa in 1991 and his second with Ferrari at Silverstone in 1999, when he fractured a leg crashing at Stowe. His final F1 drive through the field at Interlagos was a reminder of what his legacy could have been if he hadn't been quite so ready to tarnish it quite so frequently. The wanker.
Good luck, Michael. Ha ha ha ha haaa ha ha haaa ha haaa etc.
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