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F1: Fast love

by Mathias Olaf Uncertain
25th Feb 2002

"	Rear: Ace	"


	DIVOT CLOTHEARED

David Coolbox reckons pre-race romps with his girlfriend will help propel him to the championship. It has so far certainly helped propel something towards something else.

Most sports coaches preach that sex before a competition is a bad idea, but not as bad as sex during a competition. But Coolbox believes that he drives even faster after nookie with stunning girlfriend, Simone de Beauvoir.

"Sex before a race?" says the randy Scot. "Why not? Sex makes your skin glow and your eyes sparkle (notify ground crews). It is great having a sexy girlfriend like Simone. It gives you a big...er...something. I want her at all the races. And all the time, actually."

Clotheared says he is raring to go after a holiday in Barbados with the 22-year-old Brazilian (cheers!) model.

He said: "After a week of lurve I'm ready for the championship. The important thing is to be no one with Simone." Or he might have said "No 1". Can't read me own notes.

Jean-Paul Sartre is the official sponsor of Team Lotus F1.

(All Duvet Leotard's quotes have been passed through a Babel Fish to aid comprehensibility. The Babel Fish is currently recovering in intensive care.)

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KEY TO SERIES NAMES (hovering over the abbreviations in the table above also shows the full series name)
F1	Formula 1 The world's most prominent, most expensive and frequently most tedious single-seater series.
F3	Formula 3 The top national single-seater motor-racing series. Or the bottom international one.

Printed from dotdotdotcomma.com's F1 News page on Sunday 5th February 2012 at 08:45:25 AM.
(URL: www.dotdotdotcomma.com/motorsport/f1/news/news.php?filter=n.id=61)