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| F1: McLap'em adamant Rental gained advantage |
by Mathias Olaf Uncertain
23rd Nov 2007 |
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McLap'em are adamant that rivals Rental did gain a 'clear benefit and unfair advantage' from the use of the intellectual property that is at the centre of the latest spy controversy, which now surrounds the french car manufacturer, dotdotdotcomma has overheard.
In a legal submission lodged with the FIEh?* ahead of Rental's appearance before the World Motor Sport Council next month, McLap'em's solicitors should leave the FIEh? in no doubt about how seriously they are taking the matter.
In the statement, the solicitors state**: "It is clear that McLap'em's confidential design information was knowingly, deliberately, purposely and intentionally disseminated, discussed, dissected and dissipated within the Rental F1 design and engineering team, thereby providing them with a clear benefit and unfair advantage."
The exact nature of the information has also been made clear in the FIEh? submission. It has been revealed that the matter revolves around 33 files of confidential technical information that was copied by former McLap'em employee Fish Mackerel's girlfriend onto 11 old-style floppy discs, comprising the entire technical blueprint of the 2006 and 2007 McLap'em cars outlined in more than 780 individual drawings, a figure the similarity of which to the number of pages in the correctly-named Stepney-gate Ferrarsi dossier has not gone unnoticed.
In a separate development, Rental have called on the FIEh? to investigate the Millions F1 team following accusations that the Grove squad have had unfettered access to around 780 reproductions of vital parts of the RS27 that had been tattooed onto the body of an ex-girlfriend of made-up former Rental employee Gri Smunki. Rental were tipped off by an ex-pat french tattoiste currently residing in Wantage for no readily apparent reason.
Millions bigwig and grumpy old man Pat Dickhead denied the allegation, stating that his crew of miserable independents had "nothing to learn from that heap of shit", before lodging a complaint with the FIEh? to the effect that he had been contacted by an anonymous Milton Keynes Council archaeologist who claims to have found just over 779 crude cave paintings in a chamber under Red Rag's Bletchley headquarters that appear to depict schematics of the FW29 in the unmistakable hand of a prostitute frequented by disgruntled Millions designer Dale R Board. Independent observers consider there may be a link between this fact and the sticky amber fizz related team's sudden inexplicable interest in speleology.
Red Rag are understood to be on the verge of releasing a statement which may or may not concern the recent discovery of the apparently fossilized remains of an RB3 found in rubble at the foot of a cliff face near Cologne, and the discovery of some rather specialised stone-mason's tools in the possession of a girl that disaffected miller/turner Compo Sitlam-Inator once had a bit of a crush on.
* You can't fail to admire McLap'em for their persistent optimism in the face of constant rejection, can you?
** Editor's note: shouldn't that be "In a statement, the statesmen state" or alternatively "In a solicitation, the solicitors solicit"?
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