No team polarises fans quite like Ferrari: some believe that they can do no wrong, despite a vast and growing body of evidence to the contrary; other, sounder minds put them in roughly the same category as Lucius Malfoy, Jabba the Hutt and Sandi Toksvig.

Until fairly recently, the team had a reputation for passionate disorganisation, which occasionally somehow produced a decent car, and there was no end of very good drivers queuing up to put their mark on a contract for the scuderia, only to be disappointed by the tractor they were given to race.

The Brawn/Todt/Schumacher/Byrne axis changed all that. Suddenly the cars were quick, driveable and bullet-proof, while behind the scenes this highly political team fostered its "special relationship" with the FIA, leading to all manner of dubious rule interpretations in favour of the red cars.

That the team inspires such extreme reactions is partly a product of its own success (many people love to hate the ultra-successful - just ask Man Utd, Bill Gates or Patrick Kielty) but also because of the strutting arrogance and faux innocence with which it has been achieved. The lesson, which seems to be repeatedly lost on Ferrari, is to win, lose and get caught breaking the rules with equal good grace.

Some of our readers doubtless question the extent of dotdotdotcomma's continued antipathy towards the scuderia but when repeatedly faced with the team's insufferable arrogance in victory, sanctimonious posturing at perceived wrongs and instinctive refusal to accept blame, it's the only sane response.

There. We got all the way through that without once calling them a bunch of cheating c*nts.

Pretty much since his F1 debut with Sauber in 2002, Felipe Massa has been doing his best to shake off his reputation as a driver who is fast but wild, while for roughly the same period, dotdotdotcomma has been doing its best to reinforce that reputation.

It's not that we harbour any particular dislike of the chap but Massa is no more capable of changing his underlying nature than he is of, oh, I don't know, not spinning five times in the wet at Silverstone in 2008. During the duller parts of a Formula One season, it's nice to have someone a bit mad in the field for the occasional moments of insanity they provide and ever since Takuma Sato left the sport, Massa is the best we have.

That said, Massa has been guilty at times of Ferrarigance, which is a word we've just made up for the special brand of arrogance only a fully brainwashed Ferrari team member can display. His ridiculous protestations that Fernando Alonso had impeded him during qualifying at Monza in 2006 readily spring to mind, as does his failure to acknowledge that his spin at Fuji in 2008 had been caused when he turned in on Sebatien Bourdais. On both occasions, of course, the stewards favoured the bloke in red.

In any case, F1 would probably be less of a spectacle without loonies like Massa and "fast but wild" is not a bad epithet to have. It could be a lot worse. Just look at what we've called Michael Schumacher or Jacques Villeneuve.

A phenomenally successful F1 team which won nine constructors' titles in 20 years (it took Ferrari 50 years to do the same) but which usually dispenses with the services of the drivers who win the title for them: Alan Jones, Nelson Piquet, Nigel Mansell, Alain Prost and Damon Hill all took championships and then left the team at the end of the year, for one reason or another.

The team hit a purple patch in the 1990s, when a combination of Adrian Newey's ground-breaking designs, some jolly clever electronics and a handful of half-decent drivers resulted in repeated title wins. The 1992 and 1993 Williams are probably the most technologically advanced Formula One cars to date and you could almost say that they drove themselves, without wishing to devalue the titles that Mansell and Prost won with them, of course.

This period also produced the iconic blue and white Rothmans livery, which looked great but which was probably responsible for shifting truckloads of their cigarettes. The team did attempt to make amends later, however, by running cars plastered with stickers for Niquitin and thereby promoting something to help you give up what they'd been urging you to become addicted to a few years previously.

For the 2004 season, the Williams challenger sported a highly unusual "walrus nose", which did nothing for the car's performance but which did at least mean that Ralf Schumacher was no longer the ugliest thing in the paddock. The innovative nose proved uncompetitive and was replaced by something more conventional in the second half of the year. Ralf also proved uncompetitive and was replaced by someone more talented at the end of the year.

Founded by the Kiwi Bruce McLaren in 1963, Bruce McLaren Motor Racing merged in 1981 with the Project 4 team, which was being run by the barn owl Ron Dennis. The team is now part of McLaren Racing, a member of the McLaren Group, under the umbrella of McLaren Holdings, a subsidiary of McLaren PLC, which is wholly owned by McLaren (World Domination) Ltd.

Bruce McLaren is currently the only driver to have won a Formula One world championship race in a car bearing his own name as a constructor*, although the dotdotdotcomma-sponsored driver Panasonic Toyota, currently racing a borrowed Caterham with limited success, is optimistic of one day becoming the second.

The team has rapidly become one of the most successful in F1 history and is widely regarded as technologically top-notch, if sometimes a little fragile operationally. They are constantly trying to persuade everyone that they may be stiff and corporate but they still know how to have a good time. It's not terribly convincing.

They're far from unemotional, however, and Ron Dennis can often be glimpsed furtively wiping away a tear or two of joy. In fact, when one of his favoured drivers has won against seemingly insuperable odds during a troubled time for the team, it can sometimes be hard to hear the national anthems over the sound of Ron's blubbing.

*Other than, we've just realised, Jack Brabham. Who also won the world championship. Arse. Rest assured, our research team will be hung, drawn and quartered. Or should that be "hanged"?

Adrian Sutil plays the piano well, speaks several languages and also happens to be a Formula One driver, the git.

On the way to F1, he raced in the All-Japan Formula Three Championship, Formula Masters Austria and even Swiss Formula Ford, which came as a bit of a surprise to us because we had it on good authority that motorsport had been outlawed in the land of cuckoo clocks, disappointing cheese and iffy bank accounts. Shows what we know.

Sutil also dabbled in A1GP, using the fact of his father's ancestry to race for Team Germany, although he could just as easily have driven for Uruguay (had there been such a team), by virtue of his mother's country of birth, or indeed for any other team on the grid, by virtue of A1GP's celebrated relaxed attitude towards the concept of nationality.

In F1, Sutil has driven for Midland, Spyker and Force India, all of which are, of course, the same team. It was his bad luck to join what used to be the Jordan team at the start of its most turbulent and unstable period, although on the plus side, he now has lifetime supplies of Kingfisher beer, Dutch sports cars and whatever it is that Midland make.

Much like celebrities who get hitched to entirely inappropriate partners, the team formerly known as Toleman has the kind of history that should make any prospective bedfellow run a mile. Lotus F1 is merely the latest in a line of rebrands that has seen Toleman beget Benetton, Benetton beget Renault and now Renault beget Lotus.

Much like many of those those same celebrities, the marriage probably won't last very long, which would be A Good Thing because this name change means that there have now been three distinct Formula One teams called Lotus: the original and best Team Lotus, Tony Fernandes's short-live Lotus Racing and now Lotus F1.

In its favour, the team has brought back to the sport the legendary black and gold livery made famous by the original Team Lotus when it was shamelessly accepting sponsorship from tobacco pushers John Player. Its origin may not be anything to shout - or, perhaps, to wheeze asthmatically - about but the colours undeniably look good on a racing car and it does at least make a refreshing change from "mainly white, with some sponsor logos splashed randomly about".

Adrian Sutil plays the piano well, speaks several languages and also happens to be a Formula One driver, the git.

On the way to F1, he raced in the All-Japan Formula Three Championship, Formula Masters Austria and even Swiss Formula Ford, which came as a bit of a surprise to us because we had it on good authority that motorsport had been outlawed in the land of cuckoo clocks, disappointing cheese and iffy bank accounts. Shows what we know.

Sutil also dabbled in A1GP, using the fact of his father's ancestry to race for Team Germany, although he could just as easily have driven for Uruguay (had there been such a team), by virtue of his mother's country of birth, or indeed for any other team on the grid, by virtue of A1GP's celebrated relaxed attitude towards the concept of nationality.

In F1, Sutil has driven for Midland, Spyker and Force India, all of which are, of course, the same team. It was his bad luck to join what used to be the Jordan team at the start of its most turbulent and unstable period, although on the plus side, he now has lifetime supplies of Kingfisher beer, Dutch sports cars and whatever it is that Midland make.

Much like celebrities who get hitched to entirely inappropriate partners, the team formerly known as Toleman has the kind of history that should make any prospective bedfellow run a mile. Lotus F1 is merely the latest in a line of rebrands that has seen Toleman beget Benetton, Benetton beget Renault and now Renault beget Lotus.

Much like many of those those same celebrities, the marriage probably won't last very long, which would be A Good Thing because this name change means that there have now been three distinct Formula One teams called Lotus: the original and best Team Lotus, Tony Fernandes's short-live Lotus Racing and now Lotus F1.

In its favour, the team has brought back to the sport the legendary black and gold livery made famous by the original Team Lotus when it was shamelessly accepting sponsorship from tobacco pushers John Player. Its origin may not be anything to shout - or, perhaps, to wheeze asthmatically - about but the colours undeniably look good on a racing car and it does at least make a refreshing change from "mainly white, with some sponsor logos splashed randomly about".

After Ireland, Russia and Holland had had a go, Indian billionaire Vijay Mallya stepped in to buy the old Jordan squad, encouraged by F1's desire to break into the Indian market, presumably because the sub-continent is home to an awful lot of potential new smokers.

Despite looking every inch the medallion man, Mallya is undoubtedly a shrewd operator, albeit one who was foolhardy enough to become the team's fourth owner in as many years, and he was welcomed into the paddock by everyone except Flavio Briatore, who thought he was taking the piss.

For its first season in 2008, the team boasted customer Ferrari engines, Mike Gascoyne as Chief Technology Officer and, um, Giancarlo Fisichella but when Super Aguri stopped turning up to keep the Force India cars off the back row, the team looked like becoming a perennial back-marker, although at Monaco in 2008 Adrian Sutil came within a handful of laps of claiming fourth place, until Ferrari's Kimi Raikkonen lost control braking for the Nouvelle Chicane and punted him out of the race, an incident that the FIA saw fit to overlook.

Much like celebrities who get hitched to entirely inappropriate partners, the team formerly known as Toleman has the kind of history that should make any prospective bedfellow run a mile. Lotus F1 is merely the latest in a line of rebrands that has seen Toleman beget Benetton, Benetton beget Renault and now Renault beget Lotus.

Much like many of those those same celebrities, the marriage probably won't last very long, which would be A Good Thing because this name change means that there have now been three distinct Formula One teams called Lotus: the original and best Team Lotus, Tony Fernandes's short-live Lotus Racing and now Lotus F1.

In its favour, the team has brought back to the sport the legendary black and gold livery made famous by the original Team Lotus when it was shamelessly accepting sponsorship from tobacco pushers John Player. Its origin may not be anything to shout - or, perhaps, to wheeze asthmatically - about but the colours undeniably look good on a racing car and it does at least make a refreshing change from "mainly white, with some sponsor logos splashed randomly about".