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Frequently Asked Questions

What is Drink-A-Long-A-Grand-Prix?
Drink-A-Long-A-Grand-Prix is a simple game which involves ITV's coverage of a Formula 1 Grand Prix.

What is the object of the game?
The object of the game is to get blind drunk.

How does it work?
As Murray Walker says: anything can happen in Formula 1, and it usually does. Some of these things can happen with a reasonable degree of certainty. DALA-GP™ requires that whenever such an incident happens, participants should salute Murray with an alcoholic beverage.
Drinking is only permitted in response to Incidents (except in "Free Practice" sessions - see below). In order that momentum is not lost, there is a wide range of Incidents which may apply throughout ITV's qualifying and race coverage.

What do I need?

A television tuned to ITV's F1 coverage or playing a video of the same
"Straight" pint glasses
A chinograph pencil or similar marker with which to delimit the extent of a finger on said glasses
Copious quantities of beer of not less than 4% ABV
Champagne or equiv.
Plenty of snacks

Incidents
Some incidents may occur at any time during ITV's coverage, including the advertisement breaks. These include commentary and punditry incidents.
Other incidents are restricted to particular times. These are: Qualifying, Martin's Gridwalk, Pre-Race (including the Formation Lap), The Race and Post-Race. Such incidents are exclusive - for example a qualifying incident cannot be applied during the race.
Incidents normally incur a two-finger penalty, except bonuses or other phenomena which incur the penalties indicated.

Jokers Players may sponsor their favourite team and its drivers. The team must be declared before the start of the game. Totems (including baseball caps, flags, t-shirts, models (or toys)) must be displayed. Playing a joker has the effect that where an incident applies to a sponsor's team or drivers, the penalty must be doubled.

Presentation, Commentary and Punditry Incidents

Martin corrects Murray.
Use of the words "fanatical" and "tifosi" in one sentence.
A commentator excitedly reports that smoke from a car is a blown engine and then realises it was a wheel locking up.
Camera cuts to driver's wife or girlfriend.
It is revealed that a named driver lives in Monaco.
Murray jinxes someone.
During a commercial break there is an advert for a car linked to an F1 team.
Anybody refers to "the late, great, Ayrton Senna"
Murray says "Anything can happen in Formula 1, and it usually does."
Someone says "'F1' is 'if' spelled backwards".
Interview with a British driver
Interview with a British mechanic / team boss / team official
Cut to in-car footage

Gridwalk Incidents

Martin collars Bernie.
Martin talks to the pole-sitter.
Martin interviews someone who clearly doesn't know what the fuck is going on.
Someone refuses an interview.
Someone attacks or irritates Martin.

Qualifying Incidents

All participants incur a one-finger penalty for every minute completed before the first car comes out.

A Prost or a Minardi come out first.
A change in the driver on provisional pole.
Session stopped.
The commentators discuss the teams getting the timing of the last lap just right.
Murray gets "slower" and "faster" confused on a sector time.
A driver runs back to the pits in his helmet.
Mention of track and/or ambient temperature.

Pre-Race & Formation Lap Incidents

Stall on the grid.
Commentators discuss whether wiggling the car warms up the tyres.
Commentators discuss whether overtaking is allowed on the formation lap.

DC receiving a trophy from an obscure government official

Post-Race Incidents

A trophy is presented by someone you've heard of.
Mika Hakkinen makes a wry comment in the press briefing.
A driver or team is placed under investigation for an alleged breach of the rules.

Overtaking for position on track, live on camera.
Stall in pitstop.
Safety car comes out/in or goes in/out.
Driver takes a stop/go penalty.
A driver retires or has an irreparable crash.
Car rejoins after going seriously off-road.
Martin comments that gravel and/or mud will be spread over the track from the sidepods the next time he brakes.
Winner swerves over to the pitwall to acknowledge his team.
A team's fucking-up of a pit-stop.
A change in weather conditions.
Use of the phrase "falling off the track".
Inappropriate use of a middle finger or similar gesture captured in slow motion by the producer.
Team-mates collide.
An umbrella or other spectator's belonging on the circuit.
If any of the above that was not shown live is shown in a replay, the penalty shall be doubled for the first replay only.

Extraordinary Phenomena

Schumacher crashes out - a bottle of "champagne" free practice session.
Schumacher retires - a half bottle of "champagne" free practice session.
A restart - a one-finger penalty for every two minutes that elapse before the race restarts.
Driver retires by driving straight into the team garage - a half pint penalty.
A mechanic is on the receiving end of a racing car - a half pint penalty.
Murray correctly corrects Martin - a one pint free practice session.
James Allen says "Tyre-wise it's getting absolutely fascinating down here in the pits, Murray" - a two pint free practice session.

Free Practice Sessions

During a free practice session, the players shall be required to consume the stipulated amount before the end of the race. Free practice session penalties may be undertaken at the players discretion, but are cumulative, and must be completed before the chequered flag. An inventive penalty will be placed on any player who has outstanding free practice to be taken after the winner is in parc fermé.

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No	Driver	Penalty-Incurring Incident	Bonus?
1	Hakkinen	use of phrase "double world champion"
2	Coulthard	more confident since near-death
3	M.Schumacher	use of phrase "double world champion"
4	Barrichello	goes to sleep mid-race
5	Frentzen	joys of new-found fatherhood
6	Trulli	looks a bit like Ayrton Senna	*
7	Irvine	suspected appendicitis
8	Herbert	"unlucky" or "unluckiest man in F1"
9	R.Schumacher	Michael's brother	*
10	Button	"laid back"
11	Fisichella	to stay at Benetton/Renault
12	Wúrz	not living up to initial promise	*
13	Alesi	"experienced" or similar ageist euphemism	*
14	Heidfeld	F3000 champion	*
15	Diniz	son of a supermarket magnate
16	Salo	the other Mika / the other Finn
17	De La Rosa	use of the word "Spaniard"
18	Verstappen	Jos the Boss	*
19	Gene	use of the word "Spaniard"
20	Mazzcane	"marzipan"	*
21	Villeneuve	Danni Minogue
22	Zonta	"disappointing"

6	Jarno Trulli	"Trulli scrumptious" or "Trulli, madly, deeply"
9	Ralf Schumacher	"As good as Michael" says Gerhard Berger
12	Alex Wúrz	former BMX world champion
13	Jean Alesi	strained relations with "presumptious boy" Heidfeld
14	Nick Heidfeld	strained relations with "slow" Alesi
18	Jos Verstappen	"as he's known in Holland"
20	Gaston Mazzacane	Jim responds that he won't like that.