What you're looking at here is a Rory, the highly prestigious award presented at the Ursa Minor Alpha Recreational Illusions Institute Awards Ceremony for "The Most Gratuitous Use Of The Word 'F*ck' In A Serious Screenplay". The original Rory itself was, of course, the Silver Bail of Peace from the now legendary Wikkit Gate Key and since it was allegedly stolen from an erstwhile recipient whilst he was at a rather wild party in an office block flying erratically above the surface of a ruined planet, the Institute has spent a large sum of money on this rather attractive design, which the manufacturers have assured us has not been borrowed from any part of a sacred relic to an interstellar war.*
In the spirit of this award, dotdotdotcomma here presents some moments of great swearing. To make the list, the quote does not necessarily have to include words that are excessively shocking, just so long as they are delivered with style and panache. Either that or they just make us snigger like naughty schoolboys.
By reaching this part of dotdotdotcomma, you have already proved conclusively that you are at least eighteen years of age but, sensitive to the needs of our more highly-strung readers, we have sanitised the more inflammatory words. If you feel that your constitution is tough enough to see the quotes in their unexpurgated glory, click the 'Turn nasty' button below. If it all proves too much for you, click on the same button to get back to the cleaner version.
* As you may have noticed, we have lifted this passage from The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, a trilogy in five parts, by the late Adamsdouglasadams. More specifically, it's from Life, The Universe and Everything. If you haven't read these books, you really ought to. dotdotdotcomma will probably make a lot more sense to you if you do.
| Quote | Source | Date added |
Part 1:
Bertie: Oh, b*gger orf!
Lionel: Is that the best you can do?
Bertie: Well... bl**dy b*gger to you, you beastly b*st*rd.
Lionel: Oh, a public school prig could do better than that.
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Extracts from a classic scene from The King's Speech in which Geoffrey Rush's speech therapist encourages Colin Firth's future king to Oscar™ and ultimately Rory™ glory. |
21st Jul 2011 |
Part 2:
Bertie: Sh*t. Sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t!
Lionel: Yes!
Bertie: Sh*t!
Lionel: Defecation flows trippingly from the tongue! |
Lionel Logue (Olivier Panis) provokes the Duke of York (Colin Filth) to further spice up The King's Speech. |
21st Jul 2011 |
Part 3:
F*ck. F*ck! F*ck, f*ck, f*ck and f*ck! F*ck, f*ck and b*gger! B*gger, b*gger, b*ggerty b*ggerty b*ggerty, f*ck, f*ck, *rse!
|
HRH The Duke of York (Colin Filth) rises to the challenge of using the f-word, after a f... f... fairly shaky start. |
21st Jul 2011 |
Part 4:
Bertie: B*lls, b*lls...
Lionel: ...you see, not a hesitation!
Bertie: ...f*ckity, sh*t, sh*t, f*ck and w*lly. W*lly, sh*t and f*ck and... t*ts. |
Bertie (Colin Filth) really gets the hang of things. |
21st Jul 2011 |
Sajid: It's only a letter!
George: I'll letter you in a minute. B*stard. |
A touching father-son moment from West is West. |
4th Jul 2011 |
| Nyaah, b*gger off, you brolly. |
Feisty ex-demon Anya (Emma Caulfied) gets all Anglophobe at starchy ex-watcher Giles (Anthony Stewart Head) in Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Tabula Rasa. |
29th Aug 2010 |
Oh, listen to Mary Poppins. He's got his crust all stiff and upper with that nancy-boy accent. You Englishmen are always so... Bl**dy h*ll.
[Pause]
S*dding..., bl*mey..., sh*gging..., kn*ckers..., b*llocks. Oh, g*d. I'm English. |
Tame vampire Spike (James Marsters) suddenly remembers his origins in Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Tabula Rasa. |
29th Aug 2010 |
| B: Aw, f*ck.M: Mother f*cker.B: F*ck. F*ck. F*ck.B: Mmm, f*ck. F*ck f*ck f*ck.M: F*ck.B: F*ck. |
Probably the definitively gratuitous use of the word 'F*ck' in a serious screenplay: the fourth episode of The Wire. As our scene opens, McNulty and Bunk are laying out evidence at the crime scene. And laying it on thick. |
4th Jun 2010 |
| M: Ah. F*ck.B: Mmm, f*ck.M: F*ck.M: Oh, f*ck.B: Motherf*ck!.M: Oh f*ck, oh f*ck.M: Oh f*ckity, f*ckf*ckf*ckf*ck f*cker.M: Oh f*ck.M&B: F*ck f*ck f*ck. |
The second in our series celebrating the legendary scene in episode IV of The Wire: Bunk and McNulty estimate the trajectory of a bullet in a ballet of profanity. |
4th Jun 2010 |
| B: Motherf*cker.M: F*ckin' ay.M: F*ck.M: Motherf*cker.B: F*ck me. |
The third and final instalment of the legendary scene from episode four of The Wire: McNulty and Bunk find a slug in the fridge. And no lettuce to be seen. |
4th Jun 2010 |
| Bl*st these pigeons and their incessant p**ing! |
The statue of Abe Lincoln (Hank Azaria) gets a rude awakening in Night at the Museum 2. |
19th Feb 2010 |
| Off you two f*ck. |
The Thick of It should be rich pickings for Rories, but sadly isn't, because the swearing is commonly big, but rarely clever. Nonetheless, Peter Capaldi's delivery of this line in Rise of the Nutters did work for at least one of the judg |
15th Aug 2009 |
| I thought you might be worried ... about the security ... of your sh*t. |
Chad (Brad Pitt) tries to convince Ossie (John Malkovich) he's got some dirt on him in Burn After Reading. |
4th Apr 2009 |
| B*mface! ...did I just say that out loud? |
Thoughts of Caroline Bingley get too much for Amanda Price in Lost in Austen. And who said dotdotdotcomma isn't high culture? |
3rd Dec 2008 |
| If he doesn't, then I'm gonna kick three colours of sh*t out of the little b*st*rd. |
The usually gentlemanly David Coulthard sets out his plans for Felipe Massa should the Brazilian fail to apologise for his bungled overtaking move in Australia, 2008. We're endebted to Brett Jeffery for pointing out this omission from the Rory Awards. |
2nd Dec 2008 |
| Kick his b*tt, Akeelah! B-*-T-T: b*tt! |
Derrick-T gives words of spelling bee encouragement to Akeelah in Akeelah and the Bee |
5th May 2007 |
| And there are two Gs in 'b*gger off'! |
Gideon the boat-painter reacts to doubts about his spelling ability in Local Hero. |
24th Jan 2007 |
| Who gives a fiddler's f*ck? |
Dame Judi Dench puts the Lord Chamberlain in his place in Mrs Henderson Presents. Yes, we said Dame Judi Dench. |
4th Sep 2006 |
| Fr*g off! And wash yer b*st*rd curtains, yer dirty cow! |
Auntie Annie (Lesley Nichol) gives the neighbours a powerful social message in East is East |
12th Aug 2006 |
| We came..., We saw..., We kicked its *ss! |
Bill Murray's Dr. Peter Venkman comes over all imperial in the now legendary Ghostbusters |
21st Nov 2005 |
| You've made your big g*y bed and now you must slumber g*yly in it |
Oliver Platt's advice to straight but 'out' Matthew Perry in Three To Tango. OK, so it's not actually rude, but it's delivered with such, well, pizzazz, it has nearly the same effect. |
7th Sep 2004 |
| Jar Jar Binks makes the Ewoks look like f*cking Shaft. |
Simon Pegg justifies preferring the classic trilogy to The Phantom Menace in Spaced. |
5th Aug 2004 |
Jonesy: You're sh*ttin' me.
Hobbes: I sh*t you not. |
A nicely vulgar exchange between John Goodman and Denzel Washington in Fallen. With thanks to Our Man at the Ministry. |
23rd Jul 2004 |
| Thank you, sir. I did have an awful premonition I was going to f*ck up on the first day... oh, p*ss it. |
Natalie fails to make up for her previous blunders in Love Actually |
23rd Mar 2004 |
| Sh*t. ...I can't believe I've just said that. And now I've gone and said 'sh*t'. Twice. |
Natalie (the loverly Martine McCutcheon) meets Prime Minister Hugh Grant for the first time in Love Actually |
23rd Mar 2004 |
| I want more life, f*cker. |
The android formerly known as Roy Batty fails to show much respect when communing with his maker on the subject of his built-in limited lifespan, Blade Runner. |
17th Jan 2003 |
| You're a load of useless bl**dy loonies! |
Ford Prefect suggests to the captain of the Golganfrincham 'B' Ark why he and his crew were inveigled into leaving their home planet. |
17th Jan 2003 |
| I got two words for that: learn to f*ckin' type. |
Mr. Pink expounds to the other Reservoir Dogs his theory on how waitresses can find better jobs if they get fed up with people like him not tipping them. |
17th Jan 2003 |
| How shall we f*ck off, o lord? |
Brian's followers request clarification of his latest commandment in The Life Of Brian. |
17th Jan 2003 |
| You have our permission to b*gger off |
Sean Connery's King Danny grants Michael Caine's insubordinate Peachy leave to, er, leave in The Man Who Would Be King |
24th Dec 2002 |
| No offence intended, but would you mind, awfully, f*cking off? |
Captain James Macleane asserts that he is a gentleman in Plunkett and Macleane |
20th Dec 2002 |
| Don't you just love my *rse? |
Sarah Blackwood gets personal in Dubstar's I'm Conscious Of Myself |
16th Dec 2002 |
| F*ck off! |
Private dick's apparently polite retort to being hassled in a phone box in Trading Places (thanks for that one to Pootle, who's going to kill me now) |
6th Dec 2002 |
| Yeah, but 'Mr. Brown' - that's a little too close to 'Mr. Sh*t'. |
The Reservoir Dogs argue about their given aliases. |
26th Nov 2002 |
| You've caught me at a bad time, so why don't you p*ss off? |
Barney in characteristically frank mood on New Order's Your Silent Face. |
30th Oct 2002 |
| What f*cker said that? |
Withnail challenges the bar in Withnail and I. |
30th Oct 2002 |
| Nice to meet you, kid. You're a real horse's a**. |
Henry Gondorff bumps into Johnny Hooker in The Sting. |
30th Oct 2002 |
| Brilliant. That's bl**dy brilliant. |
Ford Prefect reacts positively to Arthur Dent's 'pulling Scrabble letters out of a bag' idea. |
30th Oct 2002 |
| Good riddance to him, the freeloading b*st*rd. I hope he fries. |
John Cleese delivering the eulogy at Graham Chapman's memorial service. |
30th Oct 2002 |
| B*gger. |
Edmund Blackadder on being told that Captain Redbeard Rum didn't know the way to France either. |
30th Oct 2002 |
| Oh f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ckety, f*ck! |
The now legendary opening lines of Four Weddings And A Funeral. |
30th Oct 2002 |
| Keep a tight rope, you b*st*rds. |
Young Ingemar vents his spleen in My Life As A Dog. |
30th Oct 2002 |
| B*lgium, man! B*lgium! |
The loose-tongued Zaphod Beeblebrox, whilst dangling from an icy cave fifteen miles above the surface of an alien planet. |
30th Oct 2002 |
| B*gger off, you bl**dy s*d. |
Bill Rowen passes his new gang's initiation ceremony in Hope And Glory. |
30th Oct 2002 |
| That was bl**dy brilliant! |
Ron Weasley expresses his astonishment at Professor McGonagall's transfiguration, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. |
30th Oct 2002 |
