We've got pictures! One of our roving reporters was lucky enough, if "lucky" is the right word, to find one of these special editions at an undisclosed location in southern England. Click here to see just how truly awful a sticker and a lick of paint can make a car look.
What kind of sad son of a mofo buys and then actually drives a yellow Fiat Seicento Sporting Michael Schumacher Edition?
Whilst tacky cars are legion, there's one particular category that really deserves a mention: special edition cars. Why someone would wish to drive an otherwise perfectly normal car, tainted with the dregs of the upholstery and motif world, is beyond me.
Without exception, they're the lowest spec, lowest performance, lowest of humanity models ever created, and the cunning 'disguises' shouldn't fool anyone - but they do, time and time again. A sticker and a go faster stripe do not a decent car make.
If you want to draw attention to a car, it should be in a good way: driving something attractive, high-performing, classic, etc. But a Peugeot 'Junior'? Or a [insert every marque ever produced here] 'Graduate'? Bah.
But what does this have to do with the world of Formula 1? Well, everything, as it transpires, for the sad 'special edition' league now includes a 'Michael Schumacher' model. dotdotdotcomma's very own Mathias Uncertain has this to say in response to the question posed at the beginning of this article...,
"I'll tell you, as I've just been stuck behind one in the vicinity of Aston Clinton in Buckinghamshire. The kind of person who drives a yellow Fiat Seicento Sporting Michael Schumacher Edition is somebody who doesn't know how to drive properly."
This wouldn't normally narrow the field: there are, after all, a great number of people who don't know how to drive properly. However, in this case, the evidence clearly points to one candidate:
- the driver had no regard for others on the road
- the driver had no ability to pull away at junctions
- the driver had no taste
- the driver was short
Conclusion? It was MS himself, in Aston Clinton. Perhaps the rural twists and turns offered a useful Winter testing challenge, perhaps the traction control was broken...who knows. But it's clear that MS now drives a yellow Fiat. The world should be told. Not so cool now, eh?
Mathias Uncertain would like to add this comment to Our Watford Correspondent's astute and fully justified critique of shite "special edition" cars and the type of people who drive them: What I can't understand is why Fiat, owners of the Red Menace F1 team, chose a Seicento to be their Michael Schumacher special edition. I mean, you can understand your average supercar purchaser baulking at the idea of a special edition Ferrari F355, but surely it would be better to use something sporty, like the Fiat Coupé, than a girls' city-car like the Seicento? And then paint it yellow?
Or perhaps it's an accurate reflection of the way Fiat feels about the Teutonic Twat.
I look forward to a pastel pink Jacques Villeneuve edition Honda Jazz..., |
