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BF3C: Fit of Pique-t* by Mathias Olaf Uncertain
10th Apr 2003
Half-Nelson Piquet was excluded from the opening round of the British F3 championship after he used oversized drake ducks during the first qualifying session, we hear.

The 17-year-old rookie set the fourth fastest time and was distraught that he couldn't start the race.

He said, pouting and stamping his little foot, "There was no performance gain. We're being discriminated against, just because we broke the rules. It's not fair. Daddy! Daddy! Tell them it's not fair!"



* With apologies to Motorsport News (£1.80 every Wednesday) for copying their headline. It's good though, innit? Made I larf.

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AROUND THIS TIME LAST YEAR:
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KEY TO SERIES NAMES (hovering over the abbreviations in the table above also shows the full series name)
BF3CBritish F3 Championship
The top class in Britain's premier single-seater series.
F1Formula 1
The world's most prominent, most expensive and frequently most tedious single-seater series.
FJEDIFormula Jedi
Motorbike-engined single-seater series that looks like huge fun for not much money at all.
GP2GP2
The former Formula 2, now twice-renamed and god alone knows why.
MotoMotoGP
Four wheels good - two wheels baaaaad.
NASCARNASCAR
Umbrella term for a number of bafflingly popular Stateside stock car series.
WSxRWorld Series by Renault
The FRenault V6 Eurocup and World Series by Nissan successor, as much of a World Series as baseball; aka Formula Renault 3.5 for some reason.