| |
| When will dotdotdotcomma stop making crap Virgin jokes? |
| When a Virgin driver first scores. |
  |
(1%) |
| The first time the team pops its cork. |
|
(0%) |
| When the team penetrate the midfield. |
 |
(84%) |
| When they first stick it up the opposition. |
|
(3%) |
| When Branson pulls out of F1. |
|
(10%) |
| When dotdotdotcomma cut down on internet porn. |
|
(1%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 89 |
Started 16th Feb 2010 |
| |
| So Scummi's definitely coming back: how do you feel? |
| I feel better than James Brown. |
|
(0%) |
| I feel good. |
|
(0%) |
| Like hanging upside down..., |
|
(34%) |
| ...with my head in a bucket... |
|
(30%) |
| ...of hyena offal. |
|
(36%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 64 |
Started 10th Jan 2010 |
| |
| The FIA's verdict on Flavio Briatore's appeal will be... |
| ...guilty as charged. |
|
(33%) |
| ...we were a bit harsh, surely? |
|
(0%) |
| ...innocent as a tasty veg pot. |
|
(0%) |
| ...he hasn't got any. |
|
(67%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 12 |
Started 26th Nov 2009 |
| |
| Jean Todt as FIA president is the worst appointment since... |
| Max Mosley as FIA president |
|
(18%) |
| Jean-Marie Balestre as FIA president |
|
(0%) |
| Eddie Jordan as a BBC pundit |
|
(9%) |
| A routine check-up with Harold Shipman |
|
(55%) |
| Nine o'clock on a Monday morning |
|
(18%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 11 |
Started 27th Oct 2009 |
| |
| Did anyone notice who actually won the race in Brazil? |
| Jenson Button, definitely. |
|
(0%) |
| A Minardi driver, was it? |
|
(1%) |
| Rubens Barrichello, I think. |
|
(0%) |
| Kamui Kobayashi was going well. Was it him? |
|
(99%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 102 |
Started 23rd Oct 2009 |
| |
| How will Fernando Alonso's career at Ferrari end? |
| With a dozen world titles. |
|
(0%) |
| Five years earlier than contracted. |
|
(7%) |
| Amid bitter recriminations. |
|
(3%) |
| In legal proceedings. |
|
(19%) |
| Not well. Not well at all. |
|
(71%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 99 |
Started 13th Oct 2009 |
| |
| How does Giancarlo Fisichella feel? |
| Satisfied |
|
(1%) |
| Quite pleased |
|
(1%) |
| Job well done |
|
(3%) |
| Very 'appy |
|
(96%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 119 |
Started 29th Aug 2009 |
| |
| How do you feel about Michael Schumacher's return to F1? |
| I've missed the old pointy-chinned misanthrope. |
|
(0%) |
| Michael who? |
|
(2%) |
| The deal doesn't include Ralf Schumacher, does it? |
|
(6%) |
| In the name of all that's holy, why? |
|
(92%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 210 |
Started 30th Jul 2009 |
| |
| How do you feel about Sebastien Bourdais' departure from F1? |
| I can't say I'll miss the four-eyed misanthrope. |
|
(20%) |
| Sebastien who? |
|
(3%) |
| In the name of all that's holy, hurray! |
|
(77%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 30 |
Started 16th Jul 2009 |
| |
| Who should be the next FIA president? |
| Max Mosley |
|
(0%) |
| Jean Todt |
|
(0%) |
| Someone who understands motorsport |
|
(3%) |
| Someone who cares about motorsport |
|
(2%) |
| I don't care as long as she's got big tits |
|
(76%) |
| Someone who is independent of F1 teams |
|
(2%) |
| Someone who is independent of Ferrarsi |
|
(9%) |
| Someone who isn't the son of a Nazi |
|
(2%) |
| Don't mention the whore. War. I mean war. |
|
(8%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 66 |
Started 30th Jun 2009 |
| |
| I can't wait for the 2010 British Grand Prix because... |
| ...the 2009 one was like watching paint dry. |
|
(13%) |
| ...Jenson might win it this time. |
|
(31%) |
| ...it'll be at Donington. |
|
(6%) |
| ...there's a chance we'll know what county it's in |
|
(38%) |
| ...all of the above. |
|
(13%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 16 |
Started 22nd Jun 2009 |
| |
| Is Eddie Jordan the new Mark Blundell? |
| Very much indeed, Steve. |
|
(58%) |
| There's a lot of pressure on his shoulders. |
|
(13%) |
| At the end of the day, quite possibly. |
|
(13%) |
| That is not a question what is easy to answer. |
|
(15%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 67 |
Started 22nd May 2009 |
| |
| Who should be in F1 instead of Nelsinho Piquet? |
| Anthony Davidson, Paul di Resta or Adam Carroll |
|
(85%) |
| Lucas di Grassi, Romain Grosjean or Takuma Sato |
|
(2%) |
| Susie Stoddart, Danica Patrick or even Milka Duno |
|
(13%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 321 |
Started 20th Apr 2009 |
| |
| Exactly how much do DC and EJ like each other? |
| Not very much. |
|
(4%) |
| Hardly at all. |
|
(55%) |
| Less than that. |
|
(41%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 164 |
Started 29th Mar 2009 |
| |
| Turn 1 in Oz: how many huge front wings will be knocked off? |
| All of them, I reckon. |
|
(2%) |
| About half, I'd say. |
|
(55%) |
| Only Sebastien Bourdais', I hope. |
|
(44%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 3415 |
Started 17th Feb 2009 |
| |
| Our current poll is a month old, should we... |
| come up with a new one? |
|
(2%) |
| carry on with the old one? |
|
(1%) |
| give up on polls altogether? |
|
(1%) |
| extricate ourselves from the paradox we're now in? |
|
(97%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 677 |
Started 6th Dec 2008 |
| |
| I'll always remember David Coulthard for..., |
| spinning off on the parade lap, Italy '95 |
|
(26%) |
| sliding into the pit wall during a stop, Oz '95 |
|
(14%) |
| turning Schumacher's car into a 3-wheeler, Spa '98 |
|
(40%) |
| giving Michael Schumacher the finger, france 2000 |
|
(10%) |
| being World Champion for July '99 to June '00 |
|
(5%) |
| conducting himself with rare dignity, 1994-2008 |
|
(5%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 149 |
Started 6th Nov 2008 |
| |
| Sebastien Bourdais: shite or shite? |
| shite |
|
(0%) |
| shite |
|
(0%) |
| french |
|
(9%) |
| petulant |
|
(4%) |
| unemployed |
|
(87%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 246 |
Started 15th Oct 2008 |
| |
| Romain Grosjean: unlucky or shite? |
| shite |
|
(35%) |
| shite |
|
(16%) |
| shite |
|
(6%) |
| french |
|
(42%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 31 |
Started 11th Sep 2008 |
| |
| The inaugural Valencia Grand Prix was..., |
| like a day-long seminar on corporation tax |
|
(43%) |
| more soporific than Ovaltine at midnight |
|
(19%) |
| as incident-free as a Sunday night in Bangor |
|
(38%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 21 |
Started 29th Aug 2008 |
| |
| Who should commentate on F1 for the BBC next year? |
| The knowledgeable Ben Edwards |
|
(10%) |
| The personable David Croft |
|
(18%) |
| The incomparable Murray Walker |
|
(61%) |
| The execrable James Allen |
|
(11%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 393 |
Started 23rd Jun 2008 |
| |
| Following the sadomasochism-gate affair, should Max resign? |
| Yes, what he did (allegedly) was despicable. |
|
(20%) |
| Yes, even if innocent, his position is untenable. |
|
(1%) |
| No, what he does in private is his business. |
|
(1%) |
| No, he should resign because he's useless. |
|
(70%) |
| Don't know why, but he should just resign. |
|
(8%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 769 |
Started 31st Mar 2008 |
| |
| Jake and Sam from Hampshire... |
| are a couple of intelligent, caring guys... (etc.) |
|
(0%) |
| have strong views about Max and Ralf. |
|
(1%) |
| spend way too much time on internet polls. |
|
(9%) |
| have recently developed RSI. |
|
(6%) |
| really need to get a life. |
|
(84%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 648 |
Started 28th Feb 2008 |
| |
| What would be the biggest surprise of 2008? |
| The FIA governing fairly and justly |
|
(55%) |
| Toyota not producing a total shitbox |
|
(0%) |
| Adrian Newey coming up with a slow, reliable car |
|
(0%) |
| Anybody missing Ralf in any way at all |
|
(45%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 7915 |
Started 24th Jan 2008 |
| |
| Fancy a go at Autosport's Xmas Morning Mega Quiz? |
| No. It has questions about bike racing. Per-lease! |
|
(1%) |
| No. You can find the answers too easily on-line. |
|
(0%) |
| No. It just looks really tedious. |
|
(1%) |
| No. I think I'll have too much of a hangover. |
|
(1%) |
| Yes, but for a NY resolution, I must get a life. |
|
(96%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 300 |
Started 24th Dec 2007 |
| |
| How did we forget James Allen in our Figure of Hate™ poll? |
| Subconsciously edited out of memory due to trauma. |
|
(97%) |
| Statement of the bleeming obvious. |
|
(2%) |
| Too much blood in our alcohol systems. |
|
(1%) |
| Because he's not worth it. |
|
(1%) |
| We secretly quite like the PFDLT. |
|
(0%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 276 |
Started 29th Nov 2007 |
| |
| dotdotdotcomma's 2008 figure of hate™ should be... |
| Michael Schumacher, still. |
|
(0%) |
| Jacques Villeneuve, again. |
|
(0%) |
| Max Mosley, obviously. |
|
(97%) |
| Fernando Alonso, for sure. |
|
(2%) |
| All of the above. |
|
(0%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 2681 |
Started 14th Nov 2007 |
| |
| FIA president Max Mosley is... |
| a certified half-wit. |
|
(66%) |
| long overdue for replacement. |
|
(2%) |
| largely self-contradictory. |
|
(0%) |
| like father like son. |
|
(32%) |
| a sadly misunderstood genius. |
|
(0%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 688 |
Started 3rd Oct 2007 |
| |
| One hundred million dollars is |
| a hefty fine, if it's based on 'suspicion', not 'proof' |
|
(20%) |
| thirty pieces of silver, adjusted for inflation |
|
(20%) |
| the new budget for the FIA's Christmas party |
|
(60%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 5 |
Started 24th Sep 2007 |
| |
| McLaren are |
| Guilty |
|
(0%) |
| Innocent |
|
(97%) |
| Inept |
|
(3%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 86 |
Started 12th Sep 2007 |
| |
| Continue this sequence: Jordan, Midland, Spyker..., |
| official receivership |
|
(83%) |
| administration |
|
(0%) |
| liquidation |
|
(5%) |
| can we have our deposit back please? |
|
(12%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 41 |
Started 15th Aug 2007 |
| |
| Will Steve Ryder be performing fellatio on Lewis Hamilton... |
| at Silverstone? |
|
(3%) |
| after Lewis wins the championship? |
|
(21%) |
| only after James Allen has a go? |
|
(48%) |
| he's been there, done that? |
|
(27%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 66 |
Started 3rd Jul 2007 |
| |
| Will 2007 be the last year in F1 for that other Schumacher? |
| I'm keeping everything crossed |
|
(64%) |
| If there's any justice in the world, yes |
|
(14%) |
| I implore the deity of my choice to make it so |
|
(0%) |
| I don't think I'd notice the difference |
|
(21%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 14 |
Started 22nd Jun 2007 |
| |
| Who's your favourite British driver? |
| Anthony Davidson |
|
(37%) |
| Anthony Davidson |
|
(13%) |
| Anthony Davidson |
|
(29%) |
| DC, Jenson or Lewis |
|
(21%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 38 |
Started 4th Jun 2007 |
| |
| Honda's 'Earth car'... |
| is nothing more than barefaced hypocrisy |
|
(13%) |
| suggests that the world revolves around Brackley |
|
(2%) |
| looks like someone's sneezed on it |
|
(9%) |
| is about as quick as plate tectonics |
|
(55%) |
| is mostly harmless |
|
(21%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 56 |
Started 3rd Apr 2007 |
| |
| BMW's startling form in pre-season testing is..., |
| mainly down to Robert Kubica's prodigious speed. |
|
(1%) |
| mostly down to Robert Kubica's prodigious speed. |
|
(6%) |
| totally down to Robert Kubica's prodigious speed. |
|
(93%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 152 |
Started 16th Feb 2007 |
| |
| Without Michael Schumacher, F1 in 2007 will..., |
| still have one too many Schumachers. |
|
(55%) |
| probably become a sport again, Fernando. |
|
(23%) |
| have to adopt Scott Speed as its figure of hate. |
|
(23%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 40 |
Started 4th Jan 2007 |
| |
| What constitutes a moveable aerodynamic structure? |
| A weight that's totally enclosed by bodywork |
|
(1%) |
| A hub cab that affects air-flow around the wheel |
|
(30%) |
| Michael Schumacher's chin |
|
(69%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 134 |
Started 7th Sep 2006 |
| |
| Michael Schumacher should retire..., |
| if he fails to win the championship this year. |
|
(16%) |
| if he manages to win the championship this year. |
|
(1%) |
| full stop. |
|
(82%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 73 |
Started 8th Aug 2006 |
| |
| Before Jenson Button wins a Grand Prix: |
| Lewis Hamilton will. |
|
(38%) |
| The British GP's long-term future will be secured. |
|
(19%) |
| Michael Schumacher will learn humility. |
|
(29%) |
| Adam Carroll will land a decent sponsorship deal. |
|
(10%) |
| Christian Horner will stop saying "you know". |
|
(5%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 21 |
Started 7th Jun 2006 |
| |
| Describe Michael Schumacher in 3 words: |
| Cheating cynical shit |
|
(25%) |
| Cynical cheating shit |
|
(40%) |
| Shitty cynical cheat |
|
(10%) |
| Shitty cheating cynic |
|
(25%) |
| Sadly misunderstood genius |
|
(0%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 20 |
Started 30th May 2006 |
| |
| Just how bad is ITV's new F1 theme tune? |
| It doesn't lift me up lift me up, mate. |
|
(11%) |
| It's as bad as the last one. |
|
(1%) |
| It's worse than the last one. |
|
(15%) |
| What was wrong with that Jamiroquai one? |
|
(10%) |
| Or for fuck's sake, what's wrong with 'The Chain'? |
|
(63%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 91 |
Started 5th Apr 2006 |
| |
| Exactly how much can't you wait until the Bahrain GP? |
| Oh my God, it's just, like, weurgh! You know? |
|
(7%) |
| I've not been as excited since February last year! |
|
(42%) |
| New teams, new drivers: I'm beside myself! |
|
(13%) |
| Oh, you boys... |
|
(9%) |
| Dunno. I'm too pissed off about Wembley. |
|
(29%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 45 |
Started 24th Feb 2006 |
| |
| Should Schumacher retire if he doesn't win in 2006? |
| Does the Pope shit in the woods? |
|
(45%) |
| Win or lose, he should retire anyway. |
|
(5%) |
| Why wait? |
|
(50%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 22 |
Started 19th Jan 2006 |
| |
| Are you sad to see Minardi, Jordan and Sauber go? |
| Everyone had a soft spot for Minardi |
|
(8%) |
| It just won't be the same without Jordan |
|
(4%) |
| You can't help liking Minardi and Jordan |
|
(88%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 25 |
Started 28th Nov 2005 |
| |
| Max Mosely: should he stay or should he go? |
| Stay |
|
(4%) |
| Go |
|
(49%) |
| Turn around now cos you're not welcome anymore |
|
(7%) |
| Please release him, let him go |
|
(3%) |
| Leave me, leave me, leave me alone |
|
(6%) |
| You caught me at a bad time, so why don't you..., |
|
(5%) |
| Look, just f*** off already |
|
(27%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 162 |
Started 11th Jul 2005 |
| |
| What have BAR got in their fuel tank today? |
| The main tank or the special, secret one? |
|
(6%) |
| A tiger |
|
(27%) |
| Grounds for capital punishment, say the FIA |
|
(6%) |
| 15 litres of 'ballast', apparently |
|
(33%) |
| Nothing. It was totally drained, your honour |
|
(1%) |
| Their legal adviser's nuts |
|
(28%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 90 |
Started 6th May 2005 |
| |
| Should Sauber ditch Jacques Villeneuve soon? |
| Yes, out of plain common decency. |
|
(44%) |
| The only serious question is 'how soon?' |
|
(32%) |
| They should never have signed him. |
|
(24%) |
| No! He's a really talented, nice guy. |
|
(0%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 93 |
Started 14th Apr 2005 |
| |
| What would you name a new F1 team after? |
| Something really fast. |
|
(10%) |
| Something really, really fast. |
|
(10%) |
| Something incredibly sexy. And fast too. |
|
(38%) |
| Your name. *Yawn!* |
|
(8%) |
| A dreary English urban area and defunct bank. |
|
(33%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 60 |
Started 15th Feb 2005 |
| |
| Why would Williams pick Pizzonia over Heidfeld? |
| Haven't the foggiest |
|
(82%) |
| Beats me |
|
(10%) |
| Not a clue, mate |
|
(8%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 51 |
Started 11th Jan 2005 |
| |
| Who least deserves a dotdotdotcomma Christmas card? |
| Michael Schumacher, for obvious reasons |
|
(19%) |
| Bernie, for about 500 million reasons every year |
|
(34%) |
| Jacques Villeneuve. Just because. |
|
(35%) |
| Anyone in a Ferrari top |
|
(12%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 106 |
Started 23rd Dec 2004 |
| |
| What's the best career plan to get into Formula 1? |
| Hardly any racing experience, like Kimi |
|
(21%) |
| Much experience, little success, like Jacques |
|
(4%) |
| Being an ugly, arrogant, cheating German twat |
|
(68%) |
| Following the recognised Road To F1™ ladder |
|
(7%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 28 |
Started 4th Nov 2004 |
| |
| Should the British Grand Prix be saved? |
| Yes, Bernie Ecclestone is a total arsehead |
|
(96%) |
| It has a divine right to be on the calendar |
|
(2%) |
| Only if it's held at Donington |
|
(2%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 249 |
Started 12th Oct 2004 |
| |
| How do you feel about Jacques Villeneuve's return to F1? |
| I've missed the old stunted misanthrope |
|
(44%) |
| Jacques who? |
|
(0%) |
| That deal doesn't include Craig Pollock, does it? |
|
(31%) |
| In the name of all that's holy, why? |
|
(25%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 16 |
Started 17th Sep 2004 |
| |
| Who is the most loathsome driver in F1? |
| Michael Schumacher |
|
(2%) |
| Michael Schumacher |
|
(3%) |
| Michael Schumacher |
|
(0%) |
| All of the above |
|
(95%) |
| Total number of votes cast: 94 |
Started 8th Sep 2004 |
