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F1: F1 records set to be smashed in 2015 by Mathias Olaf Uncertain
28th Feb 2015
Oooh ooh, dedication's what you need.
Oooh ooh, dedication's what you need.
After Michael Shitparker's highly successful record-defending season in 2014, 2015 could well be the season in which the German's undisputed position as the holder of the most Official dotdotdotcomma F1 Records™ (by which we mean the greatest number of such records, rather than the officialest records) could well come to an end, and we can, finally, have that massive party. In Kerpen. Because to do so in Gland might be seen as disrespectful.*

Whatever.

Anyroadup, Shitparker's massive tally of 45** Official dotdotdotcomma F1 Records™ could, according to dotdotdotcomma's slightly bored Research Department, be reduced to as little as 30 this season, which would mean that the German's closest rival, the similarly German Shitfartian Fuckballs, would only need to gain all but 2 of the records up for grabs in 2015 in order to equal, and hence beat, thanks to the unique way in which Official dotdotdotcomma F1 Records™ are calculated, Shitparker's record of, um, records.

Join us as, over the next few weeks, we have a look at how those records stack up before they all fall down between March and November.

Probably.

Not.



* Actually, we won't be able to, because the small-print in the rules that govern the operation of the Official dotdotdotcomma F1 Records™ state that we can only throw that now legendary big, big party when he's finally got no records left, and not just when some other German has got more records than he has. Dammit. Who made up these fucking rules anyway?
** Plus 3 that, because of the unique way in which dotdotdotcomma's F1 Records™ are calculated, he shares with someone else who we deem actually to hold it.

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The world's most prominent, most expensive and frequently most tedious single-seater series.