RentalRENAULT
 Jean-Pierre Jabouille in the RS01, the first turbo-charged F1 car. The history of Renault in F1 reads like a company with an addiction it's trying to kick. They entered the sport as a constructor in 1977, winning a respectable number of races but no championships, then spent one season (1986) as an engine supplier, before pulling out completely at the end of the year. After going cold turkey for a couple of years, they rejoined the sport as an engine supplier in 1989, winnning five drivers' and six constructors' titles, before quitting again in 1997. By 2000 the itch had to be scratched again, so they bought the Benetton team, although they didn't rebrand it as Renault until the 2002 season. They have introduced a number of innovations to the sport, including turbo-charged engines (since banned), V10 engines (since banned) and mass-damper systems (since banned). The one thing they seem to have pioneered that hasn't been outlawed is something that actually makes the cars slower: live-feed in-car cameras. The team persists in building their chassis in Oxfordshire and their engines several hundred miles away, somewhere in france. There is undoubtedly a very good reason for this, although your chronicler admits that any sort of logical explanation eludes him at the moment. TIGRA 16v: The tooltip with lowered suspension and a racing windscreen wiper has confirmed that Romany Gypsy will see out the season for the french car manufacturer, after the team finally confirmed that it was parting ways with Half-Nelson PiquetPIQUET, NELSINHO
 Nelsinho Piquet, a man who routinely walks further than he drives during a race weekend. Nelson Angelo Piquet has six names, although we've picked his three best known ones. He is commonly known as Nelson Piquet Junior and also as Nelsinho Piquet, which he has asked people not to use any more. Nelsinho is the son of Nelson Piquet, who claimed three world championships and made no friends along the way. His father's money meant that he could race for his own team all the way up to GP2, after which things get a bit expensive even for multi-millionaires. His last championship was in 2004 when he won the British F3 title, although the perenially under-funded and criminally under-rated Ulsterman Adam Carroll heroically took the fight to the last event at Brands Hatch, about which we could go on but probably shouldn't. Little Nelson competed in GP2 and A1GP, before curiously being picked up by the Renault F1 équipe, first as a test driver and subsequently as a racer, where his disappointing form was about what many of the more astute paddock observers had been expecting. The perception of him as a sulky rich kid was given further weight when, after being sacked by Renault part way through 2009, he went running to the FIA with allegations of race-fixing, claiming that some bigger boys had forced him to crash deliberately at Singapore in 2008, in order to put team-mate Fernando Alonso on exactly the right strategy to claim the win. The revelation was indeed shocking. We'd all got so used to seeing Piquet crash that believing he'd done so on purpose was difficult to reconcile. The fall-out saw Flavio Briatore and Pat Symonds lose their jobs and, if there's any justice, brought an end to Nelsinho's career in the top flight. TIGRA 16v: The tooltip with lowered suspension and a racing windscreen wiper.
The news that the team has dropped Piquet has, of course, surprised few, coming as it does after the Brazilian's recent anti-Rental diatribe, which covered subjects such as Piquet's deep-seated dislike of Fabio BrilliantoreBRIATORE, FLAVIO
 Flav the magic dragon. Rejoicing in knowing next to nothing about the sport, Flavio Briatore has nevertheless been almost as successful in running F1 teams as he has in knocking off supermodels. Initially recruited by Luciano Benetton to oversee the establishment of Benetton shops in America in the 1970s, Briatore saw F1 as just another business when he was appointed Benetton F1's commercial director in 1988 and you have to admit he's got a point. There may well be question marks over some of his business dealings and he's probably not the sort of bloke you'd trust with your sister but there's no denying that he's got the job done, ageing medallion man that he is. TIGRA 16v: The tooltip with lowered suspension and a racing windscreen wiper, his anger that the team gave new car parts to his double world champion team-mate before he got them and his unshaken belief that, contrary to a sizeable body of evidence, he's good enough to win races. Plural.
In the process, Piquet's rant formed a neat summary as to why no F1 team in their right minds (which admittedly, probably isn't all of them) would now want to offer him a job.
"We are happy to give Romany the chance to start racing with the team," said Brilliantore. "He is an impressive young talent and we expect him to show his skills as we take an aggressive approach to the second half of the season.
"Oh, yeah," he continued, after being prompted by his PA, "we'd also like to thank Nelson for his contribution blah blah and wish him all the best for his future career, etc. In Brazilian Stock Cars."
Gypsy, who's actually won some championships on the way to F1 without having to rely on his dad building a team around him and paying for all the testing he can eat, said he was delighted at being given the opportunity to realise his life-long dream of racing in F1.
"I am very proud that the Rental F1 Team has given me the chance to become a race driver," he said, "and I'm looking forward to driving the R29 in something other than a straight line."
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