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dotdotdotcomma F1 News

F1: FIEh? announces Formula 1 virtual safety car procedure for 2015 by Mathias Olaf Uncertain
9th Jan 2015
The procedure for Formula 1's new virtual safety car (VSC) system has been confirmed by the FIEh?, after the publication of its 2015 rules.

The virtual safety car idea came about in the wake of Jules Bianchi's Japanese Grand Prix crash, with the governing body finally recognising that they could no longer promise that caution periods could ever be completely safe, but only ever virtually safe.

For 2015, therefore the FIEh? is introducing 'Virtual Safety Car' periods into the rulebook, during which double-waved yellow flags will be displayed along with the letters "VSC" on marshalling light panels, and drivers will be expected not to fall below a specified minimum lap time.

Drivers' virtual safety will therefore be assured - their complete safety of course being compromised by having to keep one eye on the marshalling light panels and the other on their sector times, rather than simply keeping both eyes focused on the slow-moving snake of other cars trailing a real safety car.

In related news, dotdotdotcomma has published the lyrics to its new 'Virtual Safety Car' song, to be sung, as usual, to the tune of 'Vindaloo' (Trad. arr. Fat Les). The lyrics are as follows:

"..., ..., ... ... .. ..!"
"..., ..., ... ... .. ..!"
"..., ...,"
".. ... ..."
".. ... .. ... ... ... ... .. ...!"

[Repeat chorus until VSC goes back in]

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KEY TO SERIES NAMES (hovering over the abbreviations in the table above also shows the full series name)
F1Formula 1
The world's most prominent, most expensive and frequently most tedious single-seater series.
FFEFIA Formula E
All-electric single seater racing series. Sounds like a swarm of angry wasps.