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F1: Comebacker: the records begin to tumble by Mathias Olaf Uncertain
22nd Jul 2010
The worlds most penalised F1 driver, the man who was disqualified from the 1997 World Championship, and self-styled most odious tosser in the history of motorsport, Michael Comebacker is gradually losing his vice-like grip on the Guinness-and-a-cream-egg-and-a-run-around-the-building Book of World F1 Records™.

There is a bewildering array of records in Formula 1, which anyone who has ever visited our F1 records page and been frustrated by how shockingly out of date it is will appreciate. And they will probably be equally frustrated that about half the time, those records are held by Michael Comebacker. Yes, about half, I'd say.

dotdotdotcomma's dedicated team of researchers are in the process of updating all the records, and even adding some new ones, the deity of your choice help them, and in doing so, they have reliably informed us, they have today discovered that another Comebacker record has finally bitten the dust.

This time around it is the turn of "Points: most for vice champion", a record that the pointy-chinned German has held since 2006 when he managed to amass a colossal 121 points on the way to losing the championship to Fernando Alonsulk (who scored 134).

We are pleased to announce that this record has effectively been broken, with nine more races still to go, and that not only has the potential runner-up broken the record, but so has the third-placed man, and the fourth has equalled it.

Now the more cynical among you - and we know you're out there because, well, you're exactly the demographic these hallowed pages are aimed at - are bound to point out that what with the points system being changed from 10 for a win to 25, it was inevitable that this record would be broken this year, and that this is further exacerbated by the fact that there are more races now than there were in 2006. And to this we would say, well, yes you've got a point.

"Well, yes," we would say, "you've got a point."

On the other hand, it could be argued that points systems do change and you're just going to have to live with it Mr Comebacker, and we really can't be bothered to do the math, as the yanks say, to see whether anyone would beat the record if you used a different system.

Anyway, it is still mathematically possible that Comebacker will finish second in this year's championship and beat his own record himself, although, to be honest, this is extremely unlikely on account of the fact that this year he is basically crap.

STOP PRESS: "Points: most in a season" has been claimed by Lewis Hamilton too.

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The world's most prominent, most expensive and frequently most tedious single-seater series.