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|F1: Whiplash says title is still possible for McLap'em
||by Mathias Olaf Uncertain
18th Aug 2011
McLap'em boss Martin Whiplash says the world championship title cup trophy award is still possible for his drivers*, despite the gap to Red Rag's Suchfine Fettle in the standings.
Fettle continues to keep a stronghold on the championship ahead of the Belgian Grand Prix, with the Red Rag driver 88 points ahead of McLap'em's Who Is Hamilton? and 100 ahead of Bunsen Jet-On, winner of the last race in Hungary.
The extraordinary claim, the background to which Whiplash insists that we "shouldn't worry [our] pretty little heads about", proves that the boffins in charge of Formula 1 really are much, much more cleverer than us mere fans when it comes to doing sums, but, as far as we understand it, has something to do with there being 8 races still to go and 200 points available to winners.
dotdotdotcomma's overworked and underpaid** Research Department don't know much about maths, but they reckon that a mind as highly-trained as Martin Whiplash's clearly is, might be able to demonstrate that it is also still possible for Heidi Nickfeld to win the championship, but that the same does not apply to Michael Comebacker, who is entertainingly struggling to get the better of Soviet sophomore driver Totally Pissedoff, despite the fact that the latter is in a car that can't decide what it is.
It's by using those kinds of advanced mathematical skills that F1 team bosses can loftily declare that the deal between those turncoat bastard splitters at the BBC and those devious bastard hacks at Sky will be "good for the sport", when the rest of us mere mortals, who only, at the end of the day, Brian, pay for it all, just see the whole thing as being a bit shit.
* Well, one of them anyway.
** It's true: they've proved it using statistics, some damned statistics, and, er, something else.