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F1: Australian Grand Pre Prixview by Mathias Olaf Uncertain
7th Mar 2015
OK, so with a little over a fortnight* to go before the Australian Grand Prix, which means probably a little less than a fortnight** by the time we've finished writing this, we thought it would be about time that we gave you, our reader, a taster of the coming season by way of a preview.

As the dog ate our homework, however, we don't really have much to say that you probably wouldn't have already picked up from Autosprout, which is, after all, where we would have got our information from anyway. So we're going to concentrate on some analysis of how things might go in Australia from the rather esoteric perspective of the sole Official dotdotdotcomma F1 Record™ that might be broken there.

Trackmeister: Melbourne aka Albert Park
The now legendary Michael Strewthmacher naturally holds the most Trackmeister™ records for the Albert Park circuit with a total of 10, comprising 4 wins, 3 poles and 3 fastèst laps. His nearest rival in Melbourne is the Iceman, Kimi G'daykkonen, who has 8, including 2 wins, a pole and 5 fastèst laps, meaning that Kimi can't equal and hence beat, thanks to the unique way in which dotdotdotcomma's F1 Records are calculated, Brucemacher's record with a win and either a pole or a flap, because the German will remain ahead with a greater number of wins. However, if Raimekkangaroodownen scores a hat-trick next weekend, he will overtake Kangaroomacher's overall total.

All of which will, of course, depend on whether the Finn can be arsed at all.

* That's two weeks if you're reading this in America.
** Roughly half a fortnight, in fact, as it turns out.

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