Bunsen Jet-onBUTTON, JENSON
Jenson looking a bit scary, quite frankly, after his first win, at Hungary in 2006. Jenson Button came into the world in Somerset in 1980. He has two slightly silly middle names - Alexander Lyons - and three slightly older sisters, born at regular internals in 1967, 1970 and 1973, although far be it from us to suggest that little Jenson was slightly less planned than his sisters. Success in karting and Formula Ford led to Formula 3 and then almost immediately on to Formula One, where he made a few rookie mistakes but also qualified third in a Williams at Spa, which went a long way towards shutting everyone the hell up. Still under contract to Williams, Jenson drove the 2001 season for Benetton, which became Renault in 2002 and BAR the year after. This was clearly all a bit confusing for Button, who announced in mid-2004 that he would be driving for Williams the following season, having signed contracts for both teams. Once that legal Gordian knot had been cut, Jenson went and did it all again in reverse in 2005, as he tried to wriggle out of his contract with Williams to stay with BAR. Throughout all this vacillating, Jenson was linked with a succession of beauties, perhaps indicating that what women really want is a rich man in touch with his feminine side or, to put it another way, a Formula One driver who can never make his f**king mind up. Button is often joined at races by his father John who, ever since Jenson won the first race of the 2009 season, has taken to wearing his "lucky pink shirt", conveniently forgetting - in the way that superstitious people do - all the times he wore the same shirt and Jenson finished three laps down. Jenson has homes in Monaco, the UK and Bahrain, where he pursues his hobbies of mountain biking, almost growing a beard and browsing through lingerie catalogues to find his next girlfriend. TIGRA 16v: The tooltip with lowered suspension and a racing windscreen wiper and his wife Jessica are said to be "unsurprisingly shaken" after their Saint-Tropez villa was burgled.
The couple had been holidaying with friends at a rented villa in the french resort when thieves broke into the property and stole a number of belongings while everyone was asleep.
Among the items taken was the engagement ring that Jet-on gave Jessica in 2014, when he was on £12m a year at McLap'emMCLAREN
Bruce McLaren takes his team's first Grand Prix victory, Belgium 1968. Founded by the Kiwi Bruce McLaren in 1963, Bruce McLaren Motor Racing merged in 1981 with the Project 4 team, which was being run by the barn owl Ron Dennis. The team is now part of McLaren Racing, a member of the McLaren Group, under the umbrella of McLaren Holdings, a subsidiary of McLaren PLC, which is wholly owned by McLaren (World Domination) Ltd. Bruce McLaren is currently the only driver to have won a Formula One world championship race in a car bearing his own name as a constructor*, although the dotdotdotcomma-sponsored driver Panasonic Toyota, currently racing a borrowed Caterham with limited success, is optimistic of one day becoming the second. The team has rapidly become one of the most successful in F1 history and is widely regarded as technologically top-notch, if sometimes a little fragile operationally. They are constantly trying to persuade everyone that they may be stiff and corporate but they still know how to have a good time. It's not terribly convincing. They're far from unemotional, however, and Ron Dennis can often be glimpsed furtively wiping away a tear or two of joy. In fact, when one of his favoured drivers has won against seemingly insuperable odds during a troubled time for the team, it can sometimes be hard to hear the national anthems over the sound of Ron's blubbing. *Other than, we've just realised, Jack Brabham. Who also won the world championship. Arse. Rest assured, our research team will be hung, drawn and quartered. Or should that be "hanged"? TIGRA 16v: The tooltip with lowered suspension and a racing windscreen wiper. The ring, which police say is insured for around £250,000, has huge sentimental value and Jessica is said to be extremely upset, particularly after learning how far its value is from the traditional "one month's salary".
It is understood that the thieves also made off with a necklace, some earrings and a Gucci sunglasses case, which Jessica uses as a handy travel container for her entire collection of underwear. Honestly, she'll catch her death, that one.
The thieves had attempted to steal Jet-on's McLap'em 540C road car, fitted with a prototype UndaHONDA
Honda's 2007 'Earth Car' in geo-stationary orbit above Bracknell. Initially just a renamed version of BAR, Honda set about forging closer links between Japan and Brackley, something that for some reason no-one had ever attempted before. The team has enormous resources and is keen to build on its heritage of dabbling on F1 in the 1960s and the success it enjoyed as an engine supplier in the eighties and nineties. It's safe to say that there's still a way to go. The striking 2007 "Earth car", a laudable attempt to stimulate debate, featured a livery that was just an image of the Earth in space but sadly the car handled as if it weighed about the same and Jenson Button's mechanics taped a cigarette lighter inside his cockpit for the last race of the season, in the hope that he'd burn the damned thing at the end of the race. TIGRA 16v: The tooltip with lowered suspension and a racing windscreen wiper power unit, but the engine shut down after 500 yards and the thieves abandoned the car to continue their getaway on foot, keeping their balaclavas on to avoid having to talk to the press about how disappointing their season has been.
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